Dad has Already Taught Us Everything He knows

Dr Chuck Stecker

              It was Spring in 1994 when I heard those words. Our family was preparing for a new season in our lives. Our years serving our nation in the US Army were coming to a close and we were preparing to move back to the United States from our last assignment in Rome, Italy.

             I had been involved in coaching our sons in soccer and other sports for most of their lives. Our sons were 12 and 10 years old.

            As we rode and talked about our new beginning, our oldest son, Chad, asked, “Dad, when we get back to the United States, will you still be our soccer coach?”


            Before I could respond, our youngest son, Courtney spoke for me; “No Chad, Dad has already taught us everything he knows.”

            That was certainly a sobering moment!

             There was truth in Courtney’s words. Our sons had come to a point in soccer where my knowledge and skills were not enough to continue to take them to the next level. They needed more from a coach than I could offer.

            However,  my role as their mentor was just beginning.

             Dr Edwin Louis Cole was one of the most remarkable men I have known and had the privilege of hearing. At this point Dr. Cole is celebrating in heaven. One of my favorite “Coleisms” was a statement I heard him make on more than one occasion:

 “Often a man’s gifts will take him to a level that his character can’t support.”

             At the moment of truth so kindly blurted out by our youngest son, I came to realize that my biggest role was to become our son’s mentor. My primary responsibility was to focus on the character to support the gifts and find others to continue to develop the gifts.

            Both our sons have gone on to play soccer at levels my coaching could never have taken them. My responsibility to continue to shape the character to support the gifts is more important now than it has even been.

            As dads and men, we must recognize the moments when our children need more from coaching than we can offer in an area and accept a greater role as the primary mentor in that area of their life.

            This is also very true in relationships I have with other men. I have needed to recognize the moments when my greatest gift to a friend is to introduce them to a person who has the skill set to coach them beyond any level I could take them and realize that my role as a mentor is even more important and their skills are honed.  

           As I continue to tell my own kids and friends, my primary responsibility is to help them to have the character to support their gifts so they do not arrive at a point in life where their gifts have taken them to a place their character cannot support.


Leave a Reply

Receive My Blog Post by E-mail

Subscriber # 450

since 7/4/2014


February 17

Mid-Week Service

Wednesday 7:00 pm


Crossroads Ministry Centre
501 Ates Road
Pineville, LA 71360

(318) 640-1865

February 21

Weekend Services

Sunday 9:00 am & 11:00 am


Crossroads Ministry Centre
501 Ates Road
Pineville, LA 71360

(318) 640-1865

February 24

Mid-Week Service

Wednesday 7:00 pm


Crossroads Ministry Centre
501 Ates Road
Pineville, LA 71360

(318) 640-1865

February 28

Weekend Services

Sunday 9:00 am & 11:00 am


Summit Church
7200 S. Clinton St.
Centennial, CO 80112

(303) 792-7200

April 16

Iron Sharpens Iron - Grand Rapids, MI

Theme: "Iron Sharpens Iron Men's Conference"


Brookside Christian Reformed Church
3600 Kalamazoo Ave SE
Grand Rapids, MI 49508

For Information Contact:
Kevin DeKam
CSB Ministries
8375 Ridgestone Dr SW
Bryon Center, MI 49315

Phone: (616) 647 7716[0]=362

Buy Chuck’s Book on Amazon

Blogs Chuck Follows

There are many good blogs on the net but these are some I follow because they speak to me and all the authors are friends as well.

Pastor Andy Addis


Lance and Lynn Anderson

Stepping Out of the Boat

Dr Dan Erickson

Greater Yes

Leary Gates

Igniting purpose, Inspiring breakthroughs

Dave Gregg

Building Godly Leaders

Pastor Terry Hoggard

Connecting Leaders because Relationships Matter

Pastor Jim Ladd

Jim Ladd

Wes Roberts the max!

Therese Schwenkler

The UnLost

Steve Siler

Music for the Soul

Pastor Rob Singleton

Making an Impact for Christ

Ward Tanneberg

A Further Journey

Pastor Joel Thomas

Men Who Believe

Julie Thomas

Women Who Believe

Janet Wheeler

Choosing Life; Finding Freedom

Facebook IconTwitter Icontwitter follow buttonGoogle+Google+