Dr Chuck Stecker

When was the last time you thought about the age range of your relationships? I am not referring to people who you see or come into contact with during your activities such as church or at your kid’s school.

Think about who you intentionally schedule on your calendar. Do not consider your children or co-workers you see only at work.

Think about the people you pursue and the ones who pursue you to have coffee or lunch.

Several years ago, I listened to Dr Gordon McDonald at Denver Seminary. At one point he was asked a very pointed question. The questioning individual asked Dr McDonald about the biggest difference in his life now compared to when he was much younger. Without hesitation, Dr McDonald responded that it was the men in his life.

The answer to the follow-up question was very significant. He was asked, “How did you find those men?” He responded, “Just like I got my wife, Gail. I dated them.”

Dr.  McDonald went on to explain that when he realized the void in his life, he first decided what type of men he needed. Then he made a list of guys he already knew. Then he began to ask them to meet for coffee. No agenda except to see if they wanted to meet again.

Dr. Mc Donald was clear. Some guys were good men but they did not make “the cut.” Others he continued to meet with and in time he found that he had an amazing group of men surrounding him.

Frankly, if you do not have others in your life, you are most likely not putting forth the effort. If you do not have younger and older people in your life, you are most likely not putting forth the effort.

If you do not have true friends and relationships beyond your age group, you should ask yourself:

1. Am I actually available to others?
2. Do I intentionally pursue others?
3. Am I willing to invest in someone else?

We must make a decision to be intentional about the relationships in our lives. We are intentional about things that we value. If we truly value and desire relationships that go beyond our own age-range, we must be available and intentional.